The end of what is officially Week 2

"And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness." Mark 1: 12

Ever felt that you might be crushed by the amount of papers that seem to pile up on the counter/table/desk? In the span of one week, I managed to make my desk space completely disappear. And it's not as though this was the first time. It happened at the end of last week too... Seemingly sad and depressing - the homework is for the week seems so overwhelming. I have devised a plan... and I will probably keep everyone appraised of it over the weekend. I am going to attempt to get all of my readings for the week done over the weekend. I have two assignments due in the next 10 days, and two quizzes to accomplish. I would rather have the time to focus on those than be bogged down with all of the reading to do.

If you were to have asked me on Tuesday how I was doing, the answer would have been a tentative "okay". If you had asked me on Thursday, the answer was "Great!" And today, I am feeling a little down. I rather suspect that I am missing the opportunities I had in Regina to get together with my friends. I have been in Saskatoon for a couple of weeks now and I think that "homesickness" has settled over me.

This week my Chapel Group was in charge of leading service. I had the opportunity to read lessons and greet at the door. (The first-years are being treated with kindness their first week leading Chapel.) There are other responsibilities that I am looking forward to as the weeks pass.

Today, we had a visit from Jackie Nunns, an Augsburg Fortress Representative (for those of you who don't recognize the name). She was here to introduce us to the online resources that we have access to for free as Seminarians of LTS. And I got a swanky new bag from AugFort as well! The online stuff was fantastic because a lot of it is for planning services and working with the structures of Liturgy. I am looking forward to playing with it in order to see what I am capable of creating. Of course, in the bag I was given was a catalogue... so many things to want and buy. And I get a discount.... more temptation to spend money I don't have.

Okay, so why the scripture at the top? Many of the professors have referred to my class as being "in the wilderness". We are studying Mark at the moment, so it is probably coming up even more because of this. One professor even went on to say, quite tongue-in-cheek, that our wilderness will last 3 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks longer than Jesus' experience because there were no textbooks or theological writings when Jesus did His! :)

I think I am just today coming to grips with what this "wilderness" means to me. My being here is going to get a lot tougher... there have already been a couple of moments of "I don't want to do this! Why do I have to do this?!" And I know that those sentiments are because I am tired, out of energy, and afraid. This too shall pass.

I want to share with you a prayer I have been shown in the ELWB. It has slowly become like a mantra for me at the start of my day. "A prayer of Martin Luther:

Behold, Lord, an empty vessel that needs to be filled. My Lord, fill it. I am weak in the faith; strengthen me. I am cold in love; warm me and make me fervent, that my love may go out to my neighbour. I do not have a strong and firm faith; at times I doubt and am unable to trust you altogether. O Lord, help me. Strengthen my faith and trust in you. In you I have sealed the treasure of all I have. I am poor; you are rich and came to be merciful to the poor. I am a sinner; you are upright. With me, there is an abundance of sin; in you is the fullness of righteousness. Therefore, I will remain with you, of whom I can receive, but to whom I may not give. Amen." pg.87

Blessings.