End of Term.

There is a euphoric feeling that comes from knocking an assignment off of the agenda of "Final Assignments for the Term". I revel in that feeling. Especially when I know that there are still some assignments waiting, lurking, around the corner. I like the sense of accomplishment - that I do, in fact, know what I am talking about. I have learned something in the last 11 weeks of study. I also enjoy the feeling that there is still so much *more* that I still have yet to learn. And looming deadlines look a little less frightening. For a little while anyway. Then the dread of "yet another assignment" creeps in, and I'm back to being the stressed out, nervous, tired person that shows up at every end of term period.

End of term is stressful. It was when I was an undergraduate, but it seems that it is more so now. I can't put my finger on it, but the work seems harder, more intense, just more. It could be that because my previous degrees were not really all that "academic" - more practical, hands-on. But I don't think that it's fair to say that I did *less* work then than I am doing now. Workload aside, there is an emotional stress to doing this work that sometimes worries me. Apparently, it worries people around me more. Because my personality changes. And people worry about whether I am no longer "okay," which in reality only serves to make me paranoid about my well-being. Highs are higher, lows are lower - and everyone around me is going through similar changes. But we're all "okay". We're students with a large workload. Stressed out, tired, muddled, but okay.

I've been thinking hard about whether I really want to commit to doing a thesis paper for this degree. I know that the topic I have chosen is something that I am interested in - I do want to find an answer to the questions I have. I don't know if I want to throw myself at the work involved in getting a paper, that large a paper specifically, done in a timely manner. And it's not something I can consider right now - not with the euphoria of completing the last assignment coursing through my veins. Because, right now, I feel like I can accomplish anything I set myself to. But the question hangs there... how committed do I feel to doing that much work?

But, for now, the fun, happy, gleeful feeling of getting that last assignment done can stay a little longer.