Preemptively writing before Friday.

So continues Part II of things going on in my life right now.

Financial troubles of a Seminarian

Lest this be seen as a complaint about my financial circumstances, I would like it to be understood that *I* don't consider the following a complaint, but a telling of a reality of *my* life. I firmly maintain that God has helped me through many financial problems, and that I don't expect God to make them all go away, nor am I mad at God for everything that I have lived through with regard to my financial difficulties. Now that it's clear, we can proceed.

In November last year, right about this time, I received a letter from Student Loans explaining that I had "reached the lifetime maximum for allowable time period of study with regard to a student loans application". In fact, I went over the allowable time by 10 weeks - and they were graciously continuing my loan until the end of my study period last year. Well, that's a nice Christmas present, I thought, And now what do I do about the other three years of school?!

It was further notified to me that, though I had not reached the maximum limit with Saskatchewan Student Loans, I could not apply for loans with them because they have an integrated Loan application with Canada Student Loans, and in no uncertain terms would CSL entertain an application on my part. Woohoo!

Well and good, and with the incredible support from many people and groups my education has been paid for this semester. And I am working to supplement my living expenses. I have proven to myself that I don't need to rely on CSL or SSL for help, and with the help of those around me will continue in my studies.

In September, I diligently sent off the "Proof of Enrolment" that CSL requires to prove that I am in full-time studies and save me from entering repayment status on the loans that I do owe. (I have three separate loans that I have to monitor closely - 1. with RBC from an era when Student Loans was operated through the banks. 2. A Canadian Student Loan from when I was a BC resident. 3. An integrated Canada-Sask Student Loan.) Everything was hunky dory this year because I informed everyone involved in prompt fashion. Or so I thought.

At the beginning of this month, I received a notice from CSL/SSL informing me that because I had reached the lifetime maximum on student loans, I have automatically enterred repayment status (Meaning that payment on the interest would be due at the end of the month). And because I was enrolled in full-time studies, I was not required to make the payments, but that interest would continue to accrue. For those of you who don't know how student loans and interest works: While you are enrolled in full-time studies, your loan is in a kind of interest relief. The loan accumulates no interest while you're in school, but at the end of your study period CSL applies an amount to your loan that is a protracted rate (usually no more than a couple hundred dollars) from the interest relief period. What CSL means by the above letter is that I would not be in the interest relief category at all, and my loans would grow by roughly $400.00 each month while I continued on in my studies!!!

Not happy with that option, and after a little freak out, it was suggested that I call them and ask them how to "fix" this. The option presented to me was to apply for Interest Relief in the Repayment Program, wherein my income, marital status, and number of dependents is examined and assessed as to whether the gov't would cover the interest payments or if I would pay a lower rate while the gov't covered the rest. I don't know the results of that application yet, but was informed after the initial pre-approval that I would surely be covered entirely. Admittedly, the person I was talking to had to speak at length with her supervisor because my situation is apparently *very unique*. I was informed that so long as I don't change my marital status or income level, I would be able to qualify for the Interest Relief for the remainder of my time in school (re-applying every six months). So, I guess it's now "fixed". Thanks to the tax payers of Canada, I have no doubt.

This week, I received a notice from CSL that under a new program initiative they have moved my one student loan from the RBC to their own offices. Not really an issue - the interest rate isn't changing and paperwork ought to get a lot easier. However, RBC has yet to inform me of this change. The account has yet to be removed from my list of accounts. And, I feel strangely violated in terms of the government arbitrarily accessing my bank accounts.

Frankly, I will never again apply for a loan - without incredibly amazing convincing. If I don't have the money to do something, it's just not going to happen. This whole scenario makes me extremely frustrated, cynical, and leaning towards a pragmatism about money.

And angry that it colours my life so. Because I have these loans, I am considered a "high risk" for investors and creditors. In fact, the last banker I spoke with was in awe that I was able to fix as much of my credit history over the last 5 years that I have. I have a friend who tells me that I am not a "credit risk," rather a victim of the Institution of Finance. Additionally, I have a lot of people asking me why I would consider a trip through Seminary when I so obviously can't afford to do it. And what about when I finish? Pastors don't make a lot of money - how are you going to pay back all that you owe?!

The anger seems to grow. And a despair that makes me doubt myself and this call in ways that I didn't think I ever would. Without intending to sound smug or ignorant: I accepted a call to ministry. A time of education and discernment which may result in my becoming a pastor. I have no illusions that it's been an expensive road to journey on. That's been mostly my decision, or bad decision making. I don't see my coming to Seminary as a bad decision. I don't think that I ever will. There is something that I am being called to do, and God will help me get there. The money thing - just one hurdle to get over.

Yet from another side: maybe I should look into getting a lawyer. Or declare bankruptcy.
That one in particular bothers me. I don't really see that as an option. I am dedicated to paying back my loans. The lawyer suggestion is curious to me. I don't know that there is anything that a lawyer can do in this scenario. Also, I don't have the money to pay a lawyer for their services rendered.

So, there you have it. Financial stressor to the max, I'm sure. And I thank God that I have the support of so many in my decision to continue to be at Seminary - you have all helped me understand the communal dedication to those who answer a call like this one.